Moments That Make Us
by Salvatore-Black
Summary: Jacob never intended to hurt Bella, whether that be through his decisions or anyone else's but sometimes things happens too fast to avoid doing so. These moments will define or break you, either molding you into the person you are destined to become or a shell of yourself.
1. 1: The Way Things Are

_**Moments That Make Us**_  
 _ **Chapter One**_

To most people, the pain they saw in the eyes of one Jacob Black made it believable that he had lost someone forever to death instead of decisions that were out of his hands.. He'd worn the same haunted and faraway look in his eyes for the last five years, resembling a walking zombie as he carried out his tribal duties. Everything else was forgotten as he kept himself locked away and enclosed in his own pain, wearing his pain as an armour to keep those away who desperately wanted to help him.

The exile he gave himself was the only way he could cope after losing the woman he loved to which the blame lay solely at his feet, at least from his point of view.

She had been willing to wait for him but the order had made it impossible. He'd spurted the bullshit that he was ordered to, never realising it was too late until he'd looked into her eyes. She had left, taking everything good about him with her as she walked away from him and out of his life. To classify their relationship would be an insult to her because she had been his best friend and much more beyond that.

Isabella Swan, fondly know as Bella had left Forks a broken girl, her heart shattered into a thousand piercing shards after having had her love thrown in her face by the second person she had given her love to. Staying in the small town of Forks became an impossibility for the first time since she'd moved there so Bella had taken a flight to her mother's in Jacksonville, becoming determined to erase all memories of the small town in Washington State where her heart had been shattered.

Bella had cut off her father and destroyed every memento she had of her time in Forks, of the Cullens and of the Blacks as she tried desperately to regain control of her life from the supernatural that had infected it and unknowingly destroyed it for the second time in her short life.

She had been slowly coming to terms with everything that had happened to her in the short space of time since she'd moved to Forks, determined to lock all memories away in a corner of her mind and re-attach each shattered piece of her heart together until it was complete and she was ready to move on with her life however that would never happen.

Renee had decided that she had kept a deeply buried secret for long enough and without any consideration for her only child who was trying to recover from a broken heart, had suddenly announced over a dinner one evening that she'd had an affair that had ended shortly after Bella was born.

Bella had been angry to hear, first-hand, how her mother had truly thrown her father's love in his face by having an affair with a man who was a distant friend of his. That anger had turned to rage when she realized that the only reason Renee was telling her was because this man had been the one to conceive her and had known for the last 18 years that Bella was his daughter.

Shock and rage had turned to disgust for her mother when she came to the realisation that Renee had left Charlie for this man, only for this man to leave her in turn and never look back. She had told her so-called mother that karma was a fucking bitch much like she was, backing that comment and her anger up by throwing her plate across the room and storming out.

Without a second thought, she'd thrown everything she'd brought with her in a bag and had bolted from the house, telling Renee to never contact her again as she took off to the one woman she knew would truly help her in a way that her own mother wasn't capable of doing.

Bella Swan arrived on the doorstep of her god-mother, Elizabeth who had been a good friend of her mother's years earlier in the middle of monsoon season in Phoenix, Arizona. Elizabeth had taken one look into her goddaughter's shattered eyes and had offered the one thing Renee was incapable of. Unconditional love.

Bella had left Forks a broken shell of a human being but had slowly healed during her time with her god-mother. Elizabeth had often fielded calls from both of her parents, feigning any knowledge of their daughter's whereabouts but assuring Charlie, at least, that Bella was safe but trying to move on with her life as best she could.

Now imagine Charlie's shock when he gets a call from none other than Bella herself who informs him that she will be moving back to Forks, having brought Old Lady Willow's house that is situated quite far out, barely listed as being part of Forks due to the reasonable trek required to reach it.

Although he doesn't know what exactly has happened between Jacob and Bella, Charlie cannot help but let it slip to Billy and Harry as they're fishing that his daughter is moving back to town, albeit to the outskirts.

Old Lady Willow's house which has been abandoned by her family since her death sits close to the mountain surrounding the Olympic Peninsula, the drive made harder by the natural path that hasn't been changed since the 1900's when the house was first built. Even as Chief of Police, Charlie couldn't possibly describe the house in any kind of detail since he'd never made the trip up to the house at any point in his life.

Both Billy and Harry are disheartened, when questioning Charlie about his daughter's life, to hear that he knew very little about what Bella had been doing or her whereabouts these past five years as Elizabeth only gave him little tidbits of information every couple of months.

''And you have no idea, any at all, of a reason why Bella would move back after all these years?'' Harry questioned, raising an eyebrow at Charlie as he fixed him with a stern look that usually got Charlie to spill his guts about everything he knew or heard.

Charlie shook his head and drained his beer, throwing the can across the room into a bin as he replied'' My daughter has barely spoken to me in the last five years, I've never pushed for more information about her life because she's had a foot out the door for these past couple of years. Do I desperately need to ask those questions when I know the only thing it will be achieving is Bella dropping out of my life completely?''

Harry and Billy both nodded in understanding, neither liking the truth in Charlie's words but understanding his situation as they had both been in a very similar situation with their daughters. Billy knew the pain two-fold, Rachel had kept him at arm's length for the last couple years until Paul had imprinted on her while Rebecca hadn't spoken to him for the last 7 years since she'd moved to Hawaii.

Billy knew that he could have handled the drama with Jake and Bella a lot better than he had done, knowing he was partially responsible for his best friends' daughter's long absence from her father's life due to old-fashioned laws that brought nothing but drama and pain.

Harry was thinking about his own daughter, Leah and the deep rift between them which had only further separated the two of them whom had once been as close as any father and daughter could be. He knew that he hadn't handled the Sam situation anywhere near as delicately as it required, placing tradition and old-fashioned laws above his loyalty and love to his daughter.

He knew it must have been hard to see the man you were going to marry one day suddenly fall in love with somebody else, especially when that somebody is your cousin and best friend. He knew that Leah thought he approved of Emily and Sam's relationship, he didn't but there was little he could say to change her mind as Sam had imprinted on Emily and as a council member, he'd had to give his blessing to them. As Leah's father however, every part of him had screamed out about the injustice to his daughter.

Charlie was thinking back to how his relationship had been with Bella when she was a child. They'd been so close for the first 5 years of her life, even after his divorce from Renee. As the years went by through, Renee had constantly made things difficult for him to maintain any kind of close relationship with Bella through any means or anyone possible.

Bella's tenth birthday was a good example of Renee's attempts to keep him out of his daughter's life. Instead of sending Bella to him for the agreed 3 weeks of the summer, Renee had dumped Bella on the doorstep of her god-mother's for 6 weeks while she ran off with her latest fling, making it impossible to get hold of her.

Charlie knew that he'd never helped things with Renee over the years. When she had announced that she was going to leave him and take Bella, he had called her bluff as Renee could barely take care of herself on a day-to-day basis so how could he take her seriously? It had sunk in that his ex-wife was serious when the divorce papers arrived on his doorstep only a week later and Renee was nowhere to be found.

He'd been furious when he'd learned that Renee had indeed left him, taking Bella and moving cross-country to Riverside, California where her mother resided. Renee's mother, Marie had been furious with Renee for running away from her problems instead of facing them head on but had allowed her daughter to stay with her for the sake of little Bella who she doted on.

Marie had ran interference between him and Renee throughout the entire divorce and up to Bella's sixth birthday until Renee had announced that she was taking her daughter to Phoenix, Arizona where an old friend had a job and house lined up for her. Marie had been furious, telling her daughter exactly what she thought of her before writing her out of her will and cursing her to never darken her doorstep again.

Charlie regretted how he'd handled the entire situation, hating that he'd enabled Renee to the point where she believed all decisions regarding Bella were hers and hers alone to make. He'd always known that Renee was flaky, irresponsible and flighty but it wasn't until Bella got old that he realized there was another side entirely to his ex.

Renee was sneaky, spiteful, manipulative and a liar who used people however she saw fit. How Marie Higginbotham had ended up with a daughter so vindictive was as good a guess as any when Marie was a hard-working, stubborn but brilliant woman.

Renee and Marie had never gotten on, their personalities clashing over every little thing but both as stubborn as the other one. Bella was nothing like her mother, sharing several traits with her grandmother but at least being able to live relatively peaceful with her mother over the years.

Charlie was excited for his daughter's return, wanting desperately to be a part of her life after having stood on the sidelines for the last four years because that was Bella's choice. He would work harder at getting to know her again, work harder at being a better parent to her then he had been over the last 20 years of her life.

It was the least he could do. She'd been the one constant source of light in his life from the moment she'd been placed in his arms at 3am, September 13th 1987 and despite everything that had happened in the last few years, he loved her unconditionally but also knew that Bella wouldn't know that. He wasn't good at voicing his feelings to anyone, preferring to bottle everything up much like Bella did when she was younger.


	2. 2: She-devil

Chapter Two  
Sam's POV

 _Paul: Why do we bother patrolling Forks? The Cullens left nearly five years ago and there hasn't been a single sighting of a leech in the area for three years._

 _Leah: For the love of everything that is good in the world, find some new questions to ask_

 _Quil: I can't concentrate on anything beside you two, shut the hell up!_

 _Leah & Paul: Screw you!_

 _Jared: Remind me again why you put Leah on the same patrol as all of us_

 _Leah: I hate being here as much as you pansies do_

 _Sam: Shut the hell up for once and keep your eyes peeled_

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed, his thoughts making it clear that he disapproved of the constant bickering between his pack brothers and sister. They were very much like a bunch of children with the constant fighting between themselves and needing some form of supervision and rules to keep them all in check.

As Beta of the pack, Sam was the only person keeping the lot of them in line as Jacob had enough to contend with. Even four years on, Sam still felt guilty about the order he'd given that had fundamentally helped destroyed one of his brothers. Jacob had never been the same after she'd left, choosing to isolate himself away in a cabin close to the mountains which he only ever left for his patrols and the very few jobs he took.

The only time he was given any kind of reprieve from the madness that was the Quileute wolf pack was with Jacob's infrequent appearances. The pack always fell silent upon their Alpha's appearance, his strength of mind and isolation making him a virtual stranger to everyone who had once known him very well.

They all felt when Jacob was about to phase, the intense and awkward silence that rose from the depths of nowhere made it plainly obvious that their Alpha was due. As sudden as the constant tension, everyone's minds were focused on their patrol lines and any thoughts or opinions they'd had previously were locked away tightly.

 _Jacob: Everything in hand,Sam?_

 _Sam: Everything seems to be quiet. I'm just glad there's some peace for however long it lasts_

 _Jacob: Something isn't right, it's too quiet._

 _Sam: A little peace and quiet isn't a bad thing_

 _Jacob: Alri-_

Jacob's reply was cut off by Leah's howl, the pack mind flooding with Leah and the pack's thoughts. While patrolling close to the Treaty line, Leah had seen a flash of shocking red hair in her peripheral vision which upon being chased, had disappeared up into the tree line and out of sight.

Within seconds of seeing the flash of red in Leah's mind, Jacob's mind had made the connection to whom they were dealing with. Sam couldn't help but groan, memories of their previous encounters with the red-haired devil dancing in front of his eyes. The bloodsucker hadn't been sighted in three years, having an uncanny ability to avoid their attacks and escape unharmed every time they encountered her.

The most worryingly thing about this bloodsucker's re-appearance in the area was the lack of scent. Even their strongest trackers in the pack wouldn't be able to track this she-devil and Sam had a feeling that this would be their most dangerous fight with this particular bloodsucker than ever before.

Leah was racing through the undergrowth, following her instincts as she continued to hunt a monster that she could neither see nor smell but knowing that the she-bitch would have to drop down onto the floor eventually as she'd run out of cover.

The pack was situated in various places, held in place by a silent Alpha order from Jacob whose focus was on Leah as he watched through her eyes, silently guiding and praising her skill in maintaining her chase through difficult circumstances that any wolf would struggle with.

The pack waited with bated breath, concern for their pack sister at the foremost as every member phased acknowledged the dangerous position she was in with no back-up should the bloodsucker confront her.

Jacob released his hold on the pack, orders racing through his mind to each individual wolf as the red-haired bitch dropped from the treeline and took off running at an insane speed that only pushed Leah harder to catch up to her prey.

The landscape around Leah became a blur as she pushed herself on, racing at a speed that was unmatched by all except this leech. With a look thrown over her shoulder at Leah, the leech jumped and spun mid-air as Embry launched himself from the undergrowth but missed her by inches gaining a tinkering laugh from the creature.

Embry's frustration filtered through the pack mind, his anger and determination firing Leah up further as she began to gain on the leech but leaving Embry miles behind her within moments. Leah's mind was focused solely on the hunt, her mind drawing a thousand ways for her to possibly intercept and bring the hunt to an end.

Jacob was eerily silent, his mind a blur of images as he raced to join Leah. The images passing from Jacob to the rest of the pack changed to show a map which Jacob was using to take note of each wolf's position and the possible ways for them to cut off the bloodsucker before she could gain any leverage in the chase.

With another laugh that was carried by the wind, the leech spun suddenly and changed direction heading towards the beach, avoiding Seth's sudden lunge as he dived and missed it by inches.

When he felt a rush of confidence, he knew that they had manipulated the bloodsucker into a situation that Jacob had planned for as Leah continued to charge after the bloodsucker, no surprise present in her thoughts as she kept on the tail of the leech.

Jacob began firing off different orders to each wolf except himself and Leah who had shown unfaltering loyalty to Jacob since she had phased and rarely had to be ordered. Everyone else who wasn't Jacob was a different story as she easily shook off his orders and consistently defied the orders of the Elders.

It wasn't long however before the bloodsucker had realized she'd played right into their hands and had reacted in a way that no one had expected. Brady and Embry who were running in formation with Leah who flanked by Seth and Collin had been unprepared for the bloodsucker's attack.

The bloodsucker had spun faster than anyone could have prevented, grabbing Brady and throwing him head first into a tree which broke and fell, blocking both Paul and Jared from continuing on the path they had been ordered to stay on.

Leah reacted faster than anyone else, turning and diving at the bloodsucker who had been momentarily distracted by the blood pouring from Brady. The leech flew across the small clearing into an oak tree, missing a chunk of her shoulder that Leah had ripped away in her anger.

The leech crouched, venom spitting from its' mouth as it snarled at Leah who began to circle it. It looked poised to lunge and attack until Jacob arrived on the other side of the clearing and snarled loudly, the noise echoing around the clearing as he bared all his teeth and slowly walked further into the clearing.

A brief look of defeat crossed over its' face for a split second before it jumped up into the treeline and disappeared in a flash of red.

 _Jacob: Let it go, it'll be back. I want three wolves patrolling at all times._

 _Sam: We don't have the numbers to equally do that, Jacob_

 _Jacob: Take Brady back to Sam's, Collin and Seth._

As the order took effect, Collin and Seth phased back to help their fallen friend who hadn't regained conscience once. Sam knew that Jacob had ignored his comments about the size of the pack and he had a feeling as to why.

 _Embry: Why would the red-head be back now?_

 _Paul: One reason would be the Cullens._

 _Sam: Why would they be back after nearly six years of being gone?_

 _Leah: Think about it. The better question is who or what has returned back to the area?_

 _Jared: Do you know something we don't?_

The pack was silently, everyone processing Leah's words and wondering exactly what she was implying with her question.  
 _  
_ _Jacob: Bella's moving back to Forks._

The curiosity and wonder from the pack immediately turned to shock and amazement. Thankfully no-one brought up the imprint bond between Bella and Jacob that had been neither accepted or rejected these last five years.

Jacob had allowed him once to feel the pain from the imprint pull, the overwhelming rush of emotions bringing him to his knees but making him respect Jacob even more. He knew he wouldn't have coped living a day without his imprint yet Jacob had managed five years without knowing anything.

No-one knew her whereabouts or what she planned to do for the rest of her life. The news that she was returning was a shock as her own parents didn't know where she was.

 _Paul: Why is this the first time we're hearing about this? This is major news_

 _Leah: I only know because Charlie told my dad_

 _Jacob: Dad told me as soon as he knew_

A very sudden rush of anger rushed through the entire pack, the only warning that Jacob didn't like the direction the conversation was heading.

 _Quil: You know what I hate?_

 _Embry: Girls who blow you off?_

 _Quil: Haha, funny. I hate the colour red after dealing with that leech_

 _Paul: Join the club. I hate the fucking colour and have done since my first encounter with her._

Sam was grateful to the pack for recognising immediately that they were on dangerous ground and changing the subject without himself or Jacob getting involved. It wouldn't do well to anger their leader when they would be having their hands full patrolling all the time and dealing with that she-devil.

Sam was glad to have a moment to focus and think about everything that had happened recently without it being broadcast over the entire pack mind. Jacob had the pack's full attention as he outlined exactly what patrols they would be on.

Without Jacob knowing, Sam had spoken to the Old Quil in concern about his Alpha. Although he'd felt the pain that Jacob had lived with constantly for the last five years, he hadn't seen or sensed any other emotions from him except angry. Old Quil had laughed off his concern, telling him that Jacob's problem was caused by his missing imprint.

Apparently the Elders had failed to inform them fully what exactly Jacob was dealing with. Since that fateful day, Jacob had been left unable to feel anything other than anger which drives his wolf and the pain of the bond. Jacob apparently couldn't function properly in their lives which was why he held himself back and would never be able to unless Bella magically arrived back.

If it had been possible for Sam to hate himself any more than he already did then he sure did in that moment.


	3. 3: Nostalgia

**Chapter 3:  
Nostalgia**

''How does it feel to be back in Forks, sweetie?'' Cora asked, the sweet older waitress who had worked at Forks Diner for the last 40 years and whom had a soft spot for Chief Swan and his daughter.

''Pretty surreal to be back here after years away. I can't wait to surprise my Dad'' Bella responded, smiling genuinely at the waitress who chuckled and continued pouring her drink before sliding it across the table to Bella.

''You're moving back for good,right? It looks like getting away from here agreed with you.I just can't get over how much you look like your mother, bless her heart. How is she nowadays? Still with that young fellow?'' Cora questioned, asking question after question that Bella simply did not wish to answer.

As soon as Cora had mentioned her mother, the smile had fallen easily from her face and her expression darkened considerably as she thought back to the disturbing phone-call she'd had from Phil earlier that day.

Renee had simply stated that she was overreacting to an issue that was pointless arguing about when Phil had inquired as to his step-daughter's whereabouts all those years ago after Renee had shared her sordid secret.

Bella loved Phil, she really did. Well, as much as you could love someone who was your step-father yet barely five years separated you and them in age. Phil had called her early that morning to inform her that she was going to be a big sister as her mother was pregnant.  
2 months pregnant to be exact.

She had tried to be happy for him, she really had but the more he chatted on about how excited they both were about the news, the harder it became to keep a tight rein on her anger at her mother. She'd made several excuses as she tried to get off the phone and keep the words that rose to stand poised on the tip of her tongue buried as deeply as she could but she simply couldn't.

Her tone dripping with sarcasm, she'd asked Phil quite seriously if he was sure that it was his baby because Renee's track record with her husbands weren't a positive thing. Phil's response was instantaneous:

' _'I'm not Charlie, Bella. You can remain angry at your mother all you like but Charlie is the one who still has never realised that his wife not only cheated on him but fathered a child with someone else. That really says a lot about him if he still doesn't know.''_

In retaliation she'd hung up on him before following up that unproductive call with a text that described exactly how she felt about Phil's words.

 **You're not my father at all. Have you ever thought that he's never realised the truth because he trusted her? When she screws you over which is inevitable then don't come to me with your problems. I'm done. You've made your bed so lie in it.**

After sending the text, she'd had the brief thought of phoning him back and apologising for her anger but it had indeed just been a fleeting thought. She cared for him, she truly did but she wouldn't stand by and watch from the sidelines as her mother hurt somebody else.

The now-familiar rush of anger as she thought about her mother's lies and betrayals greeted her like an old friend which she welcomed with open arms. She'd worked hard these past five years to put her past behind her and move on with her life but it wasn't easy.

The only thing that truly made her feel in the kaleidoscope of emotions that being human entailed was the anger. Since that day where her heart had truly been shattered, she'd coped by using the anger as an aid and a way of pushing herself when all she wanted was to fall and collapse into herself.

She'd perfected how to mimic being happy, able to fool everyone around her including her godmother Elizabeth but unfortunately she could never fool her heart into being anything other than a partially fix mess.

She'd thrown herself into her education, not caring at all for friends or family. She'd worked tirelessly for four years to prove to herself that she could make something out of her life and that she was destined to do something instead of wasting it.

Once she'd was happy with what she'd accomplished, she'd spent the better part of a year researching and attempting to track down her birth father. She didn't want to know him but there was a small part of her that had so many questions for this man that shared her DNA.

She wanted to know why he'd upped and vanished into thin air once her mother had left Charlie. Most of all through; she simply wanted to know what kind of man had fathered her.

She'd kind of figured that he wasn't like Charlie. The whole having an affair with a married woman was enough of a pointer to that.

She didn't find him but she found out enough about him that she was horrified to realise the type of man he was. The kind of man who had no problem leaving a trail of destruction wherever he went before he did a disappearing act which seemed to be a favourite trick of his.

With that realisation, she'd stopped looking and trying to understand why her mother would have gone for someone like him instead of Charlie.

She'd burnt everything she'd collected and decided that disturbing the past was the worst thing she could do. She'd learnt her lesson with the Cullens that curiosity could quite possibly kill the cat in some cases and her instincts were screaming at her to run as far away as she could from the mess that was her birth father.

Trusting her better judgement, she did just that and decided that residing in the same state as her mother was the worst thing for her if she wanted to leave things in the past. She'd considered Chicago, knowing that it would give her a fresh start after everything but her heart pulled her in the opposite direction.

Biting the bullet, she'd intended to look for properties that were being sold in Port Angeles but her fingers had a mind of their own and she'd ended up falling in love with a rundown house on the outskirts of Forks, Willow House.

The house needed some serious TLC but it was a stunningly beautiful house and especially for the price of it. The current owner had been more then happy to sell it to her for next to nothing compared to what he could have got for it but she wasn't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.

That was how she'd ended up back in the very place that she'd sworn she would never return to. A good thing about the distance from town was that nosy neighbours wanting to gossip about her return would be hard-pushed or interested enough to make the drive to see her. The terrain was tricky on a good day but with the latest spat of bad weather; it was impossible to access unless you had a vehicle that could handle it.

''That mother of yours still as flighty as ever?'' Cora questioned, the disapproving undertones to her voice snapping Bella out of her trip down memory lane and bringing her back to the present.

''Somethings will never change, Cora. My mother is one of those things unfortunately'' Bella remarked, taking a sip of her drink as Cora snorted unladylike before assessing Bella's reaction to her actions.

At Bella's lack of reaction, Cora remarked'' You've turned out remarkably well considering what your mother is like. I always told Charlie that he should have fought her for custody of you'' to which Bella laughed.

Cora simply smiled at Bella before turning and taking her leave. Bella turned her attention back to the papers in front of her, determined to push every intrusive and unwelcome memory out of her mind.

After re-reading the same paragraph several times, Bella was forced to admit that it was a losing battle and so she shoved the papers back into her bag, neither looking or caring for the condition they were in.

Deciding to cut the rest of her day in the town short, Bella had just gotten into the car when a very familiar car pulled up and she prayed that the original owner had simply sold it. Just seeing the Rabbit was enough to bring back memories she had repressed that were simply too much for her to process let alone deal with.

Her eyes were glued to that car reluctantly as she waited. She held her breath ,and in her head, began to count. She prayed that for every single number she counted to that someone, somewhere, would grant her a reprieve from something she would never be ready to face.

.

.

.

.

.

As the door opened, Bella felt the tension in the car increase ten-fold as she watched and waited. Her whole being was frozen, torn between embracing the rare rush of an emotion that wasn't anger and running away from everything.

She wanted to frame and hold onto the elation that she wasn't completely numb yet at the same time, she didn't want to feel emotions that were as alien to her as her own father was.


	4. 4: What you made of me

**Chapter 4:  
** **What you made of me**

She knew. She knew it wouldn't be him. It couldn't be.

After the way he'd spoken to her all those years ago and broken her heart, she was positive that he would never keep a car that held such happy memories of their friendship.

Why would him?

She was nothing to him, nothing at all. Just a pale-face who would never belong on the Reservation even if her father had been raised there his entire life alongside the Chief.

Just thinking about those words brought back exactly the same amount of pain as they did on the day she'd first heard them. The kind of pain where it felt like someone had thrust their hand into her chest and yanked out her heart, slowly crushing it the entire time to prolong her pain.

With the stinging rejection fresh in her mind, she couldn't stop the rise of anger from within as she continued to wait. She wanted him to step out that car and be miserable; she wanted the satisfaction of knowing or seeing that he was as miserable and as unloved as she'd felt from the moment he'd crushed her heart.

 _And cold_.

From the moment he'd walked away from her, from everything that had been left unsaid between them and from their age-old friendship; she'd lived with the cold that had taken root in her entire body.

No matter where she went, the cold followed like an infection of her soul. Even in Arizona where it remained hot all year round, she never warmed. The hot rays of the sun or even the love of her godmother could never penetrate through her skin and warm what remained of her heart or soul.

She couldn't love anything or anyone and it had torn at what remained of her heart to still feel. The easiest thing to feel, the emotion that still made her feel human was the anger. Without it, she felt how she thought a Cold One might feel with no ties to any humanity.

Like a statue, frozen in time by a traumatic happening.

Elizabeth had sent her to therapist after therapist who told her it was all in her head. That she had caused it and she alone could stop it.

They didn't get it. None of them did. She'd seen so many therapists, had observed time and time again as they tried desperately to get inside her head, to understand what was happening to her.

It was a waste of their time and Elizabeth's because she knew what had happened. She'd finally taken enough and something had broken inside her.

The pain she'd felt from Edward's rejection was nothing at all compared to these last couple of years.

She couldn't believe she'd handled Edward's departure from her life quite so badly. There were moments when she wished that she'd been strong enough to survive without having ever become friends again with him.

As soon as she regretted knowing him through, a quick stab of pain right to her heart would remind her that it simply wasn't that easy. How can you forget someone who shaped you into who you currently are?

Her two years spent in Forks towards the end of her teenage years had scarred her almost as much as being Renee's daughter had.

She didn't want to be Bella Swan anymore to these people. The girl they all felt sorry for.

A Leech-lover even if they didn't know it. The social outcast and awkward girl who had never found her place where she should have. The girl who had found her place where others' avoided or where she wasn't wanted.

She would show everyone the person she had become in her years gone.

 _ **Isabella Swan**_

A headstrong and determined young woman who was caring and compassionate despite everything she'd suffered yet she didn't take any of the bullshit or drama she might have taken on the chin before now.

Lost in her own thoughts, she quickly looked up and released the breath she'd been holding since she'd seen the Rabbit.

She was right, it wasn't him.

A native man she'd never seen before had climbed out of the driver's side, accompanied by a beautiful native girl who he'd wrapped his arm around as they entered the diner.

She knew that the man certainly wasn't Sam Uley, appearing much too young but his resemblance to the older man was uncanny and unnerving. The last time she'd seen Sam was as he cut her to shreds using his words as nothing more then sharp-edged daggers thrown on a crash-course towards her heart.

She'd given herself a shake and turned her engine on, pulling out of the diner and trying to put as much space as she could between herself and the diner's newest customers who reminded her of someone she'd rather not dwell on.

Just as she reached the turning in order for her to start the real trek towards her house, she couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Feeling her Land Rover come to life as she raced up the harsh terrain, she picked up her speed considerably as the forest around her became a blur around her.

Hitting a particular rough patch that had her struggling to maintain control of her vehicle, Bella smiled as she fought to keep the vehicle on the path and unadulterated fearlessness coursed through her veins, bringing her to life as much as her anger did.

Reaching the smoother course of the ride, she noted a flash of color that stood in stark contrast to the forest green in her peripheral vision that quickly had her throwing her head to the side in confusion.

She certainly didn't expect to see a raven-colored beast of a creature to be stood in the treeline, waiting for something. In the time it took her mind to process that this beast looked to be a wolf and was abnormally large, it had disappeared from her view completely.

Shaking her head, she resumed her drive and tried to rationalize what she had seen. The Olympic Peninsula wasn't home to beasts that were twice the size of the wolves they partly resembled.

She was pretty sure that someone would have her institutionalized if she tried to describe exactly what she'd just seen. She would much sooner believe someone if they told her they knew a vampire rather than about abnormally large beasts running about.

 **Wolf POV**

 _Sam's gonna have your head for that. ~ Seth_

 _I didn't expect her to make it up the natural path quite so quickly. I'm still learning how to get around ~ ?_

 _You better head back and stay out of sight. If Charlie gets another call about giant wolves then I think the man is going to burst a blood vessel ~ Seth_

 _Why can't we tell him the secret? Your mom's living with him after all so he's gonna find out eventually ~ ?_

 _Charlie would probably go after Jake or Sam. I'd say Sam more because Sam made this whole mess with Bella in the first place ~ Seth_

 _Why is Sam beta if he's the reason Jake's imprint isn't here? ~ ?_

 _Things are pretty hard for Jake in regards to the whole imprinting thing so Sam's left to keep control of us on a daily basis. Sam's using that as a way to try and make amends with Jake but it's never gonna be enough. Every couple of months, Jake lays into Sam and no-one is allowed to intervene. Sam fucked up in a major way ~ Seth_

 _I wouldn't ever want to be on Jake's bad side. Will he be pissed that his imprint accidentally saw me? ~ ?_

 _Jake's not the issue here but I don't think he'll be bothered. Your main concern should be Sam. Don't be surprised if you get double-patrols for her seeing you ~ Seth_

 _Even through she's an imprint? That's kind of hypocritical ~ ?_

 _That's Sam for ya. She's an imprint who doesn't know still ~ Seth_

 _I'd rather deal with Jake then Sam if I'm honest ~ ?_

 _Sucks to be you, kid ~ Seth_


	5. 5: Basic Instincts

**Moments That Make Us:  
** **Basic Instincts**

 _ **Author Note:**_  
 _ **Just a quick note before you start reading this chapter, take Sam in this chapter with a pinch of salt. Yes, he feels guilty and full of remorse but at the same time, he feels compelled to listen to the bloody Elders and their out-dated and frankly ridiculous laws in a way Jacob simply won't entertain. Guess there really are perks to being the True Alpha of the pack ;)**_

 ** _I own nothing except my crazy ideas and the determination to complete them. Now feel free to read._**

 **Lyle's' POV (Mysterious Wolf)**

Seth was completely right when he said Sam was gonna have his head. Sam had luckily been taken aback by how protective his instincts were towards Bella and before he could recover from his shock to give a scathing lecture and punishment, Jacob had phased in.

Although Bella had only been back in the area for a few hours, it was already easier to be around their Alpha but quite frankly, he'd simply never been so happy to see Jacob as in that moment. If anyone would understand this entire situation then it would Jacob as this concerned his imprint.

 _What's the problem Sam? - Jacob_

 _Lyle here was seen by Bella - Sam_

Jacob fell silent, his mind separating from the pack mind as it frequently did when he no longer wished to hear anyone. The rest of the pack fell silent, their collective breath held as they anticipated what Jacob's next move might be.

Sam might be across the clearing from him but he could practically taste Sam's fury that was directed towards this direction. Whether it was for him personally or Jacob was something entirely unknown but he had a feeling Sam would have it out for him.

 _Leave Sam to me. I'll take care of him - Jacob_

Jacob's voice inside his head was accompanied by a sharp flash of pain across his mind and he collapsed under the overwhelming feeling of Jacob's fury. Howling loudly and hitting his head against his paws as he tried desperately to push away the foreign emotions.

He felt Jacob's regret flash across his mind as Jacob pulled back the traces of his fury that had brought Lyle to his knees. He looked up and stared at his Alpha in mutual shock as it registered to both that Lyle had sensed a different faint emotion from Jacob that was equally foreign to both of them..

 _Even without knowing it, she makes it easier - Jacob  
_  
 _Why don't you go to her? - Lyle_

Jacob didn't respond but instead a memory of a blinding and gorgeous smile filtered through his mind as an 18 year old Bella Swan appeared in his mind. Accompanying Bella in this memory was a 17 year old Jacob who was nothing like the Alpha he knew.

Running rampant through the memory was love. It filled his senses and his mind as he watched a younger Bella Swan through the eyes of Jacob. She seemed so carefree and loving although her pain was clear to see.

The memory was ripped away and replaced by another round of anger as Jacob shut down emotionally again. He felt honoured to have seen part of Jacob's precious memories, to have seen how he was before this life took what it did from him.

 _It wasn't this life. It was Sam. - Jaco_ b

His senses were suddenly overwhelmed with a dark hatred and bitterness that seeped from the darkest corners of Jacob's mind. He tried desperately to keep his thoughts to himself as he instinctively reacted to Jacob's emotions by whining and pressing his paws into his snout.

He'd always wondered how Jacob could forgive Sam and allow him to be Beta of the pack in his stead.

 _I do what's best for this pack. That's my duty as Alpha but it doesn't mean I forgive and I certainly haven't forgiven him. I might see the regret and remorse in his actions and words but they're meaningless when measured to the pain I live with - Jacob_

With that comment, Jacob's presence left his mind and both rejoined the Pack mind.

 _You cannot punish Lyle for being seen by an imprint - Jacob_

 _What if she tells Charlie about what she saw? The rules still stand in place - Sam_

Jacob chuckled a humourless laugh that radiated throughout the pack mind before responding.

 _I am going to overlook the mere suggestion that my imprint would endanger our very existence. I assure you that Bella can and will keep our secret. Discussion over - Jacob_

Without leaving time for a silent Sam to respond, Jacob left the pack mind and Lyle released a breath that he'd unknowingly been holding.

 _Are you okay? - Seth_

Sam simply sighed and gave as much of a wolfish shrug you can give.

 _I wish we all had the faith he has in her. Let's hope she doesn't decide to let Charlie know what she saw. - Sam_

Utter silence filled the pack mind for a few tense moments before some of the more senior wolves spoke up.

 _I trust that our Alpha knows his imprint - Leah_

 _Look, I don't think Bella would have changed that much over the years. She's always been unnerving loyal to those around her. I don't think she'd say anything to Charlie. Even if she's been gone years, she wouldn't want to worry her Dad like that - Embry_

 _I may not have liked her back then but she kept the Cullen's secret even when they left her the way they did. I trust in Jacob's trust in her - Paul._

With those comments lingering, Sam phased out followed by Paul and Jared. Leah sighed loudly and glanced over at Lyle and Seth.

 _Want to explain the overprotective instincts for Jacob's imprint? - Leah questioned._

 _I don't know, okay? She looked at me briefly and the wolf was protective. I've never even met her. She feels like family, okay? - Lyle_

 _Look, who are we to question the kid? If Jacob finds no issue with his overprotective instincts then I'm not going to stand around, dissecting everything. - Embry_

Seth and Embry left the pack mind, leaving him and Leah alone. Lyle swallowed loudly, pushing back on the nervousness he always felt around the she-wolf when alone in her presence as he waited for her to speak.

 _I'm not trying to give you a hard-time, really I'm not and I'm certainly not trying to be Sam. Look, if you ever repeat my next comments to anyone, I will slice your throat from ear to ear. We in agreement? - Leah_

 _Yeah, totally. Not ever gonna say anything ever. Like for reals. You're pretty scary at times - Lyle_

 _That was me being nice. Now listen up, okay? You're not the only one who feels protective towards Bella in a way beyond Pack. I've had more time to hide certain things from the others - Leah_

 _You feel the same? What does it mean? I've never even met her! - Lyle_

 _I feel similiar, okay? I'm overprotective of her as well but my wolf recognises her as distant family - Leah_

 _Distant family? I thought she was from Forks? - Lyle_

The wolf views her how it views Emily who is my cousin. Jacob has always known; I could never hide that from him. - Leah

Leah focused on her own protective instincts towards Bella and pushed them towards Lyle who shook his big shaggy head.

 _It doesn't feel like that. I feel more connected to her than I should do - Lyle_

 _Look, maybe, it's one of those things that we should just lock into a box within our minds and never speak about. I can't tell you why you feel the way you do because I still don't understand myself. Last time I checked, I certainly do not have any more cousins - Leah._

 _Is Jacob really not bothered by it? - Lyle_

Y _ou would not be standing here with me if he'd taken offence to you - Leah_

With that last comment reverberating around his head, Leah turned and took off into the treeline.


End file.
